Forrest Wasnt Handicapped is a blog for everyone. That is if everyone laughs at others misfortunes and enjoys dirty pictures of women. Send all tips, requests, funny videos, complaints, threats ect. to blogtips1@hotmail.com
Another round of Guess That Side Boob! Today's GTSB is a classic foreign smoke. Been in tons of movies, and is absolutely gorgeous. A few of her titles: Vanilla Sky, Vicki Christina Barcelona, and is slated to co star Johnny Depp for the second time in her career in the new Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides. Give up? And the answer is......
Good ole' Penelope Cruz. Just crushing it. Always been one of my top ten celebrity crushes. Ever since she played that strung out coke whore in Blow. Just dirty. Anyways, this should be the last post for the night as drunken debauchery awaits me. And by that I mean Gruffalo hunting with KC and DB.
Another morning and Meg Deezy has not made me breakfast. This is bullshit. I had to make peanut butter toast today. Where the fuck are my biscuits and gravy. Anyway, a little music for today. I ripped this dude off of Barstool U yesterday. Hoodie Allen. Catchy chorus. Pretty good song. Definately didn't put 2 and 2 together and realize he was a white guy.
And I'm not sure if you guys have been outside but its cold. Cold as balls. Like negative 72 today or some shit. Arctic blast is the term used by the news for today. Fuck you arctic blast. Gonna need a lot of whiskey tonight to stay warm. Here's a little something to warm you up on your way out today.
Pretty Girls in Dresses (Trying to class this shit up today)
I know this is a blatant rip off of Barstool's Guess That Ass, but I don't care. If you know anything about me besides my love for Taco Bell, my uncanny cat whispering abilities, or that I'm the South Carolina Pork Chop Eating Champion, than you know I'm a fan of the side boob. Hence bringing us today the start of 'Guess That Side Boob'. And the answer to todays GTSB is Canadian actress Shenae Grimes.
Now I know everyone probably thinks the only things Canada produces are hockey players and butch lesbians who wear a lot of flannel, but little do we know they've got hot little smokes like Shenae. I have to give my sister credit. She might watch some of the dumbest shows, but they're loaded with hot chicks, and the CW4 typically plays good music behind scenes. Shenae happened to be one of those girls. She was on (is still on, I don't even know if the show is still around) 90210. A spin off of the original Beverly Hills 90210. I don't know, I don't care, but she's got killer side boob.
AP - TUCSON, Ariz. — A Tucson taco restaurant already has served up python, alligator, elk, kangaroo, rattlesnake and turtle.
What's next? Lion meat.
Boca Tacos y Tequila says it's accepting prepaid orders for African lion tacos, to be served starting Feb. 16. Orders must be placed by Feb. 7 and owner Bryan Mazon says there are already a few reservations from curious customers. Mazon says his restaurant started offering exotic tacos on its menu every Wednesday about six months ago and has tried "just about anything we can get our hands on." According to the Food and Drug Administration, lion and other game meat can be sold as long as the species isn't endangered.
The Arizona Daily Star says most of Boca's exotic tacos range between $3 and $4. The lion tacos will cost $8.75 apiece.
Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
There are two things I think everyone knows about me. 1.) I absolutely love Taco Bell, and 2.) I'm also known as The Cat Whisperer for my abilities to charm any cat and get in touch with their inner feline. That being said, I want to eat the shit out of a fucking lion. Granted $8.75 for a taco is a little steep, but you gotta think of the process of getting this lion for this taco. You know there is no way he got this lion from somewhere in America. No zoo is gonna be like, "yea, here take our fuckin' lion. Eat the shit out of it. Here you want a penguin, too?". You know this guys got some hook up over in landlocked Zimbabwe, where the Zimbabwean are stalking lions up and down the Lampopo river. Then once they kill this kittie they gotta ship the little bastard, and after paying 5 bucks for 3 day shipping for a 60 gram CD from Amazon.com, I bet it cost as arm and a testicle to ship a dead 400 pound lion. So I get why I'm paying 9 bucks for the taco. Anyway, someone from Arizona needs to get me one of these.
Everytime I go over to my friend Heather's house there's always some new guy walking out the front door whistling this. Now I know whats been going on this whole time. Whore. Love you.... Thank you Drew for the video, but next time include a couple of pictures of your sister when you email me. Preferably nude, or, how should I put this, with little to no clothes on. Thank you.
I know its technically 1:00 p.m., but thats the great part about working 4 ten hour days a week. When I get home from work Thursday morning I don't have to put pants on until Sunday night. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to when going out in public which is bullshit. The French know whats up. Just walking around, junk everywhere. Brazillians are like that, too. God I love foreigners. Anyway, a little jams to get you going today. Today's video is Kanye West's performance of 'Power' on SNL back in October. Now I know everyone jumps Kanye's ass about being a complete douche bag, and I agree. However, I feel Kanye is a Michael Jackson type situation. Everyone shit bricks when they found out Michael was a child fucker blah blah whatever. When you make music that good, you can babysit my kids any day. You just have to get past the whole kid fucker/douche bag thing and just look at it for the music. I picked up the new Kanye a couple of weeks ago, and after listening to it for awhile you realize he's one creative, weird dude. Yea he's a total dickhead, but the musics good. I don't understand people that boycott people like Kanye or Michael. He's gonna be a douche bag/kid fucker no matter what, might as well embrace and enjoy their music.
And if that didn't get you going then maybe the girls of the new movie 'The Roommate' will. Movie looks dumb as shit, but you can't sneeze at a line up of Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, and Alyson Michalka. It looks as though Leighton is some crazy stalker bitch that wants to be Minka Kelly's sister, or be her or something dumb. I don't know. Its kind of like how my new roommate situation is working out. I keep walking in on Meg Deez Nuts wearing my sweatpants, and going through my underwear drawer (boxer/briefs - best decision ever made. Might blog about the joys of them today.). Yesterday, I woke up and she was in my bed stroking my hair. Just weird shit that AK needs to get under control. But back to the girls. I know I blogged Leighton Meester before, but just shut up and enjoy:
You assholes know you can click on their names and it takes you to photo galleries right? Cause I ran into some of you idiots that had no idea about it and were pissed at me for not putting Addison Timlin's ta ta's on here. This is a classy website. I don't want to smut it up and just put naked pictures of girls on here. Trying to be family appropriate damn it.
Especially Joey. Joey Bag o' Dicks. Little 5'3" Joey with a lunch pale of hopes and dreams. I know its been awhile since I've done anything, but I've been busy. Blogs don't just grow on trees. Nor does money which is necessary for me to receive to keep power in my house and be able to use my laptop. On to the blogging:
This is what you get for giving me shit- Enjoy:
Some how Californication started last weekend without me knowing. Luckily, theres that wonderful creation called DVR. After watching it yesterday I found my new celebrity love: Addison Timlin. Beautiful. Never heard of her before, and I kind of feel like a dirty old man knowing she's only 19 and was born in 1991. Since when were girls born in the 90's allowed to be naked on TV? I don't get it, but I'm not gonna argue with the FCC. No one argues with the FCC. Here's a little gallery to get you going today:
And a little tunes for the day. My goal is to buy a new CD every Friday this year. If you have any suggestions go ahead and leave them in the little comment box down below that no one seems to want to use. Or email them to Blogtips1@hotmail.com Last week's was Mumford & Sons' "Sigh No More", but todays purchase will probably be Kid Cudi's Man In The Moon. The song "Pursuit of Happiness" grew on me and "Make Her Say" is hilarious if you get that he's talking about poking her face.
