Woman Driver or Elderly Driver?

If you guessed an old guy, you're right. This one would have been way better had it been a woman driver, but we can still go with it. I don't care how confusing an intersection is. This is still one of those anomalies that I still don't understand. How the fuck do people go the wrong way on a highway? I've driven in Texas. I get it. They have a bunch of dickhead on/off ramps. I've driven in California where this guy did this. They have pretty standard highways. One goes this way, one goes that way. Its not that hard. Maybe turning down a one way in the city is slightly acceptable, but still you're an idiot for not noticing. What I don't get either is why don't you immediately stop once you realize you're going the wrong fucking way. Like, 'no, I'll fuckin' speed down the shoulder and hope to get to another exit before something happens..." Fuckin' old people. I think at a certain age driving privelages should be revoke. Over 80? Tough shit. No license. And if you're family hasn't put you in a home yet by the age of 80, well then you just have a bunch of dickheads for family members.

4pm is the new 9am

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Guess That Side Boob

Another round of Guess That Side Boob!  Today's GTSB is a classic foreign smoke.  Been in tons of movies, and is absolutely gorgeous.  A few of her titles:  Vanilla Sky, Vicki Christina Barcelona, and is slated to co star Johnny Depp for the second time in her career in the new Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides.  Give up? And the answer is......

Penelope Cruz

Good ole' Penelope Cruz.  Just crushing it.  Always been one of my top ten celebrity crushes.  Ever since she played that strung out coke whore in Blow.  Just dirty.  Anyways, this should be the last post for the night as drunken debauchery awaits me.  And by that I mean Gruffalo hunting with KC and DB.

Wake Up!

Another morning and Meg Deezy has not made me breakfast.  This is bullshit.  I had to make peanut butter toast today.  Where the fuck are my biscuits and gravy.  Anyway, a little music for today.  I ripped this dude off of Barstool U yesterday.  Hoodie Allen.  Catchy chorus.  Pretty good song.  Definately didn't put 2 and 2 together and realize he was a white guy. 



And I'm not sure if you guys have been outside but its cold.  Cold as balls.  Like negative 72 today or some shit.  Arctic blast is the term used by the news for today.  Fuck you arctic blast.  Gonna need a lot of whiskey tonight to stay warm.  Here's a little something to warm you up on your way out today.

Pretty Girls in Dresses (Trying to class this shit up today)

Carrie Underwood

Nina Dobrev

Hayden Panettiere

Brooke Burke

Guess That Side Boob

I know this is a blatant rip off of Barstool's Guess That Ass, but I don't care.  If you know anything about me besides my love for Taco Bell, my uncanny cat whispering abilities, or that I'm the South Carolina Pork Chop Eating Champion, than you know I'm a fan of the side boob.  Hence bringing us today the start of 'Guess That Side Boob'.  And the answer to todays GTSB is Canadian actress Shenae Grimes. 

Shenae Grimes

Now I know everyone probably thinks the only things Canada produces are hockey players and butch lesbians who wear a lot of flannel, but little do we know they've got hot little smokes like Shenae.  I have to give my sister credit.  She might watch some of the dumbest shows, but they're loaded with hot chicks, and the CW4 typically plays good music behind scenes.  Shenae happened to be one of those girls.  She was on (is still on, I don't even know if the show is still around) 90210.  A spin off of the original Beverly Hills 90210.  I don't know, I don't care, but she's got killer side boob.

I Want A Fucking Lion Taco

AP - TUCSON, Ariz. — A Tucson taco restaurant already has served up python, alligator, elk, kangaroo, rattlesnake and turtle.

What's next? Lion meat.

Boca Tacos y Tequila says it's accepting prepaid orders for African lion tacos, to be served starting Feb. 16. Orders must be placed by Feb. 7 and owner Bryan Mazon says there are already a few reservations from curious customers. Mazon says his restaurant started offering exotic tacos on its menu every Wednesday about six months ago and has tried "just about anything we can get our hands on." According to the Food and Drug Administration, lion and other game meat can be sold as long as the species isn't endangered.

The Arizona Daily Star says most of Boca's exotic tacos range between $3 and $4. The lion tacos will cost $8.75 apiece.

Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

There are two things I think everyone knows about me.  1.) I absolutely love Taco Bell, and 2.) I'm also known as The Cat Whisperer for my abilities to charm any cat and get in touch with their inner feline.  That being said, I want to eat the shit out of a fucking lion.  Granted $8.75 for a taco is a little steep, but you gotta think of the process of getting this lion for this taco.  You know there is no way he got this lion from somewhere in America.  No zoo is gonna be like, "yea, here take our fuckin' lion.  Eat the shit out of it.  Here you want a penguin, too?".  You know this guys got some hook up over in landlocked Zimbabwe, where the Zimbabwean are stalking lions up and down the Lampopo river.  Then once they kill this kittie they gotta ship the little bastard, and after paying 5 bucks for 3 day shipping for a 60 gram CD from Amazon.com, I bet it cost as arm and a testicle to ship a dead 400 pound lion.  So I get why I'm paying 9 bucks for the taco.  Anyway, someone from Arizona needs to get me one of these.

Just Gettin' the Job Done.....

Everytime I go over to my friend Heather's house there's always some new guy walking out the front door whistling this.  Now I know whats been going on this whole time.  Whore.  Love you.... Thank you Drew for the video, but next time include a couple of pictures of your sister when you email me.  Preferably nude, or, how should I put this, with little to no clothes on.  Thank you.