You Never Go Full Retard....

So for some reason the holiday movie of choice on Encore today is 'Radio', starring Cuba Gooding, Jr.  Now the heated family debate is, who played a better handicap:  Cuba or Leonardo Dicaprio in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'.  I think Leo killed it and set the bar too high for people like Cuba to come around and try to compete.  I don't know what kind of awards Leo won, but it was definately an Oscar/Emmy/Tony/Espy award winning performance.  Although, as I watch more of this movie I start to think Cuba absolutely nails what I think an energetic, african american handicapped person would be like.  The only problem is he looks 35 and he's still in high school.  I'm pretty sure at some point the school just say fuck it, its a lost cause and give them an honorary diploma.

Who Played a Better Ruh-tard?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Nuts

Or whatever the fuck this holiday really is.  We all know Jesus was born in May so lets throw that out the window.  I think little Cindy Lou Who was right.  What is Christmas really about?  All the presents?  Where's the love?  Actually, speaking of Cindy Lou Who, you guys know that bitch is crazy now right?  Taylor Momsen.  Used to be cute little Cindy Lou Who, now is a goth rocker cunt bag ( I only say that because she plays Jenny Humphrey on Gossip Girls and is a total bitch.  And yes, I watch Gossip Girls.  Fuck you.)  Now for some christmas cheer, here are the girls of Gossip Girl.  And remember while you look at these Taylor Momsen is only 17.  Perverts.

Blake Lively - Serena van der Woodsen

Leighton Meester - Blair Waldorf

Taylor Momsen - Jenny Humphrey

God Damn Car Commercials.....

Fucking car commercials always stealing my music. Then I look like the dick when people get in my car and go, "Oh, this is from that new Yaris commercial!". No, its from a good fucking band. Shut up and get in the god damn Prius. Yaris...pfff, who the fuck would buy a Yaris anyway?













"But he smells like ranch dressing....." Ha, fuck that kid.  Blue Cheese is where its at.

Its Murdaaaaaaa......

Just kidding! Its 2 years for gun chargesssssssss.....

NYDailyNews.com - Rapper Ja Rule is headed to prison for two years after pleading guilty Monday for driving with a loaded gun after a 2007 concert.

"This isn't a good day, fellas," the one-time Grammy nominee said grimly as he left Manhattan Supreme Court.

The plea to attempted weapon possession in the second degree, a violent felony, came just before his trial was scheduled to start.

Ja Rule, 34, whose real name is Jeffrey Atkins, was busted with a loaded .40-caliber Taurus pistol inside his Mercedes-Benz Maybach as he and two pals left the Beacon Theater on the upper West Side following a Lil Wayne & Friends concert in July 2007.

Lil Wayne, real name Dwayne Carter, was also arrested for gun possession that night. He took the same plea as Ja Rule but received only one year in jail. He was released from Rikers recently after an eight-month stint.

So first things first, A: I didn't even know Ja Rule was still alive, and B: I didn't know he made enough money to even own a Mercedez Maybach.  And secondly, isn't it funny how Ja Rule and Lil' Wayne have the whitest names of all black people?  Talk about straight gang banging.  "Hey Jeffrey Atkins, lets go slang some rock to our homies....", "Sure thing Dwayne Carter!".  That sounded a little racist.  Sorry, not all black people are rappers.  Crack dealers yes, but not rappers.

My Weekend in 34 Seconds.....

Just a total fucking horse wreck.  Truly Devine came through and just fucked my world.  Congratulations to Jeff and Southern Oaks who took home the grand prize.  Quantifier was a close second, being jockied by Joey.  She fought a hard battle.  Putting up a good fight with her previous work history as Seabiscuit in the popular Disney title.  We'll give last to Private Details, being rode by Heather (like every other guy in the bar Saturday night) even though she caused the whole train wreck (again, like Heather).  She was definately the best looking horse, but just didn't want to lick the salt block.  She was much more of a grazer than any of them.

Birthday Weekend!

Its my fucking birthday bitches! Well, actually, my birthday weekend since its technically tomorrow.  I don't care.  I'm going out with fire tonight.  Intoxication will be high, standards will be low.  I don't care what it looks like, I'm finger blasting something tonight.  Even the bitches in the video above would qualify for finger slamming.  Fat girls beware.  I got four knuckles just looking to do some punishment.  I don't care if she's 68 and her shit looks like a bag of lunch meat when you first open it up and that shits all mangled and squished together, or if she's 9 and it takes a shoe horn to get in that shit.  Doesn't matter.  Somethings getting abused tonight. 

On a lighter, less rapey note, here's a little morning tunes to get your shit going. 



And if that didn't get you going maybe Marissa Miller's tittie will:

Marissa Miller's Tittie....You Welcome